Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Top 5 Resolutions for 2014

People love resolving to accomplish tasks in the upcoming year; the arbitrary end point serving as a beacon that their hope-soaked procrastination will yield more favorable results than their current sloven nature.  Luckily, your humble and ever insightful author has sorted through all the internet's top New Year's Resolutions, thrown them all away, and written a concise set of guidelines for 2014 that are sure to improve your quality of life.

5. NO WASTING GYM SPACE:  You know who you are.  You're not serious about fitness.  You're probably not overly concerned with getting your own health in order.  But, because it's the thing to do, you'll find yourself spending a large portion of January, and perhaps some of February, in a gym frustrating yourself and others around you.  Keep in mind, this effect is aggregate: one guy wrist curling 12.5lbs while sitting on a calf machine isn't THAT problematic. However, when there are a dozen more idiots wasting bench, treadmill, and rack space, doing the same sort of asinine activities, the hallowed ground of self improvement becomes a bog of inconvenience and personal endangerment.  If you don't have the motivation to take care of yourself right now, you probably aren't going to get that extra GO juice just because the calendar changed.  Figure out what you really want and dedicate yourself to that...whenever that may be.


4.  ENCOURAGE SOMEONE ELSE:  New Year's Resolution failures have become so common that when a person actually does actually make a decision to improve their get life, we cynically mock them in our mind.  "She'll never lose the weight."  "He won't get a job."  "This blog is already excellent...it can't possibly improve." 
Sometimes, a few sincere words of encouragement or advice are what a person needs to get over the hump. 
"You're already beautiful--all you need is to make a few smarter health choices here and there."
"Those partial squats won't do anything for you except hurt your knees."
"I erased my debt a few years ago by using this easy excel spreadsheet..."
Being kind isn't that hard.  Maybe it will come back to you when you need it.



3. LEARN FROM LAST YEAR:  What did you want to accomplish in 2013?  Did you do it?  Why did you or did you not accomplish your goals?  Don't lean so far forward that you fall over.  The first of January means that you've just amassed a whole year of experiences from which you can draw wisdom.  You'd be a fool not to take advantage of that.

2. THE FEELS: Listen to yourself.  The world is pretty fast paced, both in reality and in our minds.  Take time to figure out what makes you tick.  Humans are constantly evolving creatures of immense emotional and mental depth.  With a changing environment, even the most self-aware person may be experiencing a new emotion, perception, or some other involuntary reaction.  Self-reflection is a powerful and effective form of improvement in all facets of life


1. RESOLVE TO BE RESOLUTE:  Even if you don't follow any of the above resolutions, choose to do something and follow through with it.  Getting healthy and making more money are great ideas, but they mean nothing if you don't follow through.  When was the last time somebody told you "Hey, those are really nice intentions you've got?"

Exactly. 

Make a plan, stick to it, and do work.